I hope you are keeping well in these unprecedented times. Be open-minded, be patient and hopeful. If you can do this, history will remember that you were once in this world and you are COVID-19 survivor. Today, we have a guest blogger. Here we go.
Hey! I know you were expecting to read another blog post from Patience, but please do hang in there. I will try my level best to make it worth the while. Do you promise to indulge me just this one time? Great! Let’s do this!
My name is Sidney Aburi, and if you frequently visit Patience’s blog (I sure hope you do) then you might remember me from her very first blog post here in Cardiff. I’m her amazing, fun, exciting and best housemate. I’m assuming this is how she introduces me to her friends.
Well, nine months ago, I had promised Patience that I’d be a guest blogger on this fantastic platform of hers and to be honest, I may have made that promise hoping that she would forget. But if you know Patience well, then you know that there are two things she values: Someone’s word and Women’s rights. Now that I am keeping my word, I figured that I’d pen down a few thoughts on the latter.
Before I go any further, please note that this is in no way, shape or form one of those posts that attempt to paint out what feminism looks like from a man’s perspective. It’s far from that. These are just but scribbles of a clueless young man seeking answers, with the hope of making the world a better place.
At this point, you must be wondering why, of all the topics, did I choose to write about this. Well, again, if you know Patience well enough, then you can attest to the fact that she has made you think about this topic critically one too many times. Patience is so vocal and confident about this subject matter that I honestly have so much fun drawing reactions from her for no reason. So much that, I’d at times walk past her in the kitchen and mutter something like, “hmmmm women, women, women…”. As soon as I’d sound out the ‘n’ in the last ‘women’, Patience’s eyes would lit up and she would wear one of those smiles daring you… “Go on, please finish your statement.”
To which I’d casually reply, “women are the greatest beings this world has ever seen.” At this point, we are both laughing because she knows oh so well what I have just done. What she doesn’t know, however, and what she is going to find out once she proofreads this post (it’s still her blog you know), is that in these nine months, she has made me do some introspection on the role that I have to play in fostering equality on matters gender.
As I stated earlier, I have no clue what I am writing about, and I would love it if you read this post from that perspective. All I have are questions that I may provide my view on (which may change, as I grow older and learn more things along the way) and some that I may leave up to you to help me figure out and hopefully let Patience know through your comments so that I could be a better person in society.
My first question has been, “What is pure feminism and how I can I get on board?” I use the word ‘pure’ because, just like any other movements in this world, there have always been contributions to the movement that take away from the original intent. Granted, being a man I have enjoyed some form of privilege and the worst thing about privilege is that unless you sit back and think about it, you never know that you have it. It is like ‘white privilege’. But back to my question. I guess what I am trying to figure out is how exactly I ought to help.
Five men in a panel on television (manel) that are not discussing male-related topics is highly unnecessary during these times, and my privileged eyes never took note of this before. I must thank Patience for this. In fact, I have vowed to use my voice in any possible way to speak against this imbalance. What I need help with is, should I speak with the same vigour against a similar panel with five women or is it, in this case, an empowering thing to have such a panel? Please help me out on this, I am honestly confused.
Here is another question I have had to wrestle with, “What does success look like?” I am cognitive of reservations that many have had, that some form of feminism is simply hatred towards men. It is another conversation altogether whether we as men may have brought this upon ourselves. What I am more clueless about is, what are the signs of a healed society or is this all just a pendulum that will soon swing towards ‘masculinism’ as a result of the equality goal being forgotten?
Will, we ever view the said five-woman panel for what they have to bring to the table or will it be always an attempt to prove that women can be better than men? I guess what I am asking is, will we ever view each other as just people when it does not demand us to play the gender card or should I just fasten my boots and focus on supporting the feminism fight at hand. Again, I am totally clueless; my questions are just that….questions.
Finally, in my full support of the movement, is it okay to suggest alternative ways of furthering the movement because if we are being honest, the male folks have created certain cultures and policies that have made it harder for equality to be achieved. I may not have chosen my privilege, but can I choose to use it for the greater good?
Mmm, I guess this might be the most clueless thing you have ever read on this blog, but as I said earlier on, I am just looking for answers. Just that. I hope that if you miss anything meaningful from my post, then you can draw only one thing from this post ……..that I am Patience’s amazing, fun, interesting and most importantly best housemate. I really don’t care that Dr. Pamela and Ronald might dispute this.
Thanks, Patience, for giving me the opportunity to ask my questions. I hope I will get answers. I hope I have kept my word. #IAmChevening and this too is #MyCheveningJourneyFollow me on Social Media